The Cup of Evil
by Ange1us Mortis
Summary: Wilson will do anything for House's forgivness... What will happen when House asks him to pretend they are a couple? STRONG WILSON/HOUSE FRIENDSHIP. Pre-slash :D


**The Cup of Evil**

**Wilson POV**

**Oneshot**

**Author's note- This was to get rid of boredom. Enjoy.**

"House! Where the hell are my pants?" I had just gotten out of the shower in the house I shared with the head of diagnostic medicine in PPTH, more importantly my best friend of many years, Gregory House. I had everything on the sink in a nice neat pile except my pants and who else would want them except my petty, vindictive flatmate? Answer - no one.  
"You killed my cup I took your pants." From the sound of his sarcastic tone he was in the living room on the couch, probably watching TV.  
"One I didn't mean to break your pink and sparkly coffee cup and I even fixed it. Two pants are NOT THE SAME THING AS A CUP HOUSE! I need those for work which because of this we're 45 minutes late. Damnit." Oh and did I mention that cup was something he won at Chuckie Cheese? Well he says won I say stole from a poor 5 year old girl when she looked for the dinosaur House promised would be there. Clearly it wasn't. He snatched the cup and the 5 bucks from me that I bet the kid wouldn't fall for it.  
"Woke up on the wrong side of the bed then Jimmy?"  
"I wasn't even in the bed! You sold it last week remember? You just needed your precious vicoden." House looked at me and started chuckling.  
"And you Dr. Wilson were mad for all of 17 minutes and 37 seconds. I did it to test your reaction it's in Cuddy's garage." I sighed but refused to let myself ask questions or even comment, it would just feed his fire.  
"Right then. Okay."  
We proceeded to get ready for work, not fun, and when we got there, of course he bursts into Cuddy's office expecting me to follow. I did.  
"Wow. Could that top be any shorter? It's nice to see the ladies again." My best friend nicknamed our Dean of Medicine's boobs the ladies. Awkward.  
Sighing Cuddy greeted me.  
"Morning and ummm sorry about" I gestured to House. "He's been like this all morning."  
"I pity you Doctor Wilson." I just smiled. I had chosen my fate and truth be told House wasn't always so bad.  
At the moment House was digging through Cuddy's desk ignoring the sharp looks she shot him so he probably didn't notice our previous exchange.  
"Your giving a better parking spot to that gay guy in Peds? It's closer than mine and I'm crippled!" Great. House was pissed, I didn't need that.  
"It's a gay rights thing House, okay? Just deal." Eerily calm house stood and walked out of the office motioning for me to follow.  
"Erm bye then."  
"Bye Wilson. Tell House he has 3 clinic hours in 2 hours time." Yeah, not happening.  
I caught up to House. He looked at me and an evil smirk crossed his face.  
"To repay me for the destruction of my beautiful cup I've decided you may repay me by helping me get a better parking spot." He just grinned at me.  
"One your not gay. Two neither am I so how can I help you?" I gasped as it hit me. Dragging House into my office (we had reached the door about 6 minutes ago) I spoke.  
"I am NOT pretending to be your boyfriend to get a better parking space, House!"  
"Yes you are or everyone will know about that certain video you starred in." Shit. He had me there.  
"How are we going to go about this?" I opened my office door leading us out to the hall way and we walked to the exit of the hospital in silence. When we got there House simply took my hand as I blushed and we walked out into the parking lot.  
"This is how we do it..." Told you he wouldn't do the clinic duty.

Morning  
Wilson POV

We arrived at work around at 9 am, House solved his case by 11 am, I stopped trying ti dissuade him at 11:30 am, so the plan was put into action at 12 am when Cuddy was out of her office getting lunch. We walked in at separate intervals and had Chase (yep House conned him into this to) watching to send me a text when Cuddy was coming. At 12:15 I received to text motioning to House.  
We sat in the two conference chairs until she came in, we even stood upon her arrival like the two gentlemen we weren't.  
"Oh God what do you two want? Just when I thought my day was going okay..." she muttered.  
"While I'm shocked, insulted, and appalled by that comment we have something to talk to you about concerning the new gay rights benefits."  
"If your here to tell me that in doing something morally wrong get out. The board of directors get what they want okay? My power only extends so far." Cuddy seemed resigned to losing this argument an if I picked it up House did to, but he did nothing to indicate it if that was the case.  
"What he means is" I spoke (I had to didn't I? Didn't I?). "we, he and I benefit from this new idea."  
Cuddy looked a bit disbelieving and flustered.  
"We're domestic partners but we always hid it because of our work and people making fun of us, thanks to those directors we won't have to. I believe we are owed a parking space each?"  
"No, no, no, no. You do not think I'll fall for that so easily."  
House rolled his eyes. "How much proof do you need?"  
Cuddy smirked at House and I. "If your really 'partners' then kiss Wilson. Right now."  
House spluttered. "Umm, well, uh... Sorry Jimmy."  
House limped over to me and glanced into my eyes. Looking me up and down he kissed me, hard and full on the mouth. Before I knew what I was doing I kissed him back, he gaped at me and after a minute we pulled apart. I hate to admit but my best friend was an amazing kisser.  
"Don't be." I smiled and House chuckled.  
"Well I stand corrected. The papers for the parking space will be on your desks tomorrow." Cuddy was blushing furiously as she spoke making House's grin wider.  
I linked arms with my best friend and we strolled out together, just for good measure.  
The next day we walks into the hospital and received smirks from Chase and Foreman and a huge congratulations from Cameron, of course.

**Author's note- Love Sherlock Holmes... Nope still me!**


End file.
